Well, my loyal followers, it's deadline time again, 
and as your humble correspondent is lacking somewhat 
in creativity today, we'll be digging back into the 
archives for a subject to mine. This week, we'll be 
taking yet another look at the Drug Problem In 
America.

I don't tiptoe around the subject -- I'm 
wholeheartedly pro-drugs. I'm also wholeheartedly 
anti-anti-drug activists (the sanctimonious 
sonsofbitches, especially the ones who drink). Maybe 
it's because I'm a degenerate hippie bastard (as I 
was called a long time ago at a George Bush 1: The 
Weenie Menace rally far from here), although I like 
to think of myself as a rational observer of human 
nature.

This is a topic that I've looked at, time and again, 
with some degree of success. Some time ago, far 
beyond the span that your media-addled brains can 
sucessfully remember, I wrote a column in this same 
space (this was back in the day when I was getting 
paid to do this madness) about the Drug Problem in 
America.

Acknowledging that yes, Virginia, there is a problem 
with th supply of drugs in this country, I did the 
only thing a sensible, rational individual could do. 
I called for the immediate collection of spare drugs 
to be donated to a public fund for poor dope fiends 
like myself.

That was two years ago.

I'm truly impressed by the total lack of response.

Now, I suspect that most of you who actually took the 
time out of your busy schedules of drinking beer and 
avoiding class to read the South Coloradan thought I 
was being "funny." Ha ha, ho ho, just another amusing 
yarn from those wacky funsters.

Those of you who think that can go play in traffic. 
Everything I said then and everything I say now, I 
believe.

Let's face facts, folks. Every day, a whole hell of a 
lot of people go to jail, sentenced to *years* behind 
bars, for nothing more serious than smoking a joint 
when some cop was looking. The DEA brings in more and 
more heavy weapons to stop contraband, the military's 
getting involved in drug interdiction, we've managed 
to drive Colombia to civil freaking war over this 
issue, and governments and corporations are allowed 
to search people's urine for drugs.

They. Search. People's. **Urine!**

We as a people are perverting the whole concept of 
freedom in order to pursue this War On Some Drugs 
(not a War On Drugs -- I don't see asprin sellers 
being targeted for no-knock SWAT team raids). What is 
the point of even pretending lip service to "Life, 
liberty and the pursuit of happiness" if the 
government can search people's urine, for chrissakes?

"But Sean," I can hear you whine when you look up 
from your reruns of "TRL" and Regis Philbin, "they're 
breaking the law! That's bad!"

Bullshit! This isn't a question of law, you 
slackasses! This is a question of freedom! Of 
justice! Of the whole "America" experiment getting 
thrown out in favor of a police state!

Do something about it, dammit! Set up a public dope 
fund! Vote for legalization! Grow pot in your 
gardens! Don't let the urine-searching bastards win 
without one hell of a fight!

As for me, I'm going to Richardson Hall and smoke 
myself a joint, and plant some coca plants underneath 
the evergreens. Every little bit helps.

-30-