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Tales of the Jihad to Destroy Barney

My crowning glory of Jihad-based writing, the Jihad to Destroy Barney the Dinosaur Roleplaying Game and Writer's Guide, known inside the group as Jihad Universe 2.0 or JU2, can be found on the Discordian Sky Press page. This page archives (much of) my straight Jihad fiction.

The Jihad stories center around my main character & alter-ego in the Jihad RP/writing circle, a mad scientist and Illuminati agent known as "Malaclypse the Seeker." Ol' Professor Malaclypse has been my flagship character for almost fifteen years as of this writing; one way or another, he's influenced my work for that long.

Here's his Jihad Universe profile (as of the last time the JU was active).

In chronological order, the Malaclypse stories are:

Operation Phoenix: The Coming of Demons: This story is the second story I ever wrote for the Jihad Universe. I was still a fairly naiive HS student at the time, and I think it shows here. It's not too bad a read, but I can do much better.
Operation Phoenix: A Race Through Dark Places part 1: One of the many multipart stories I wrote for Phoenix. This one... enh, kinda cartoony, but not too bad.
Operation Phoenix: A Race Through Dark Places part 2: The conclusion of Race For Dark Places. It wraps up the storyline nicely enough, but it feels rushed. I probably was rushed when I wrote it.
Operation Phoenix: Flight of the Long Shot part 1: During the Jihad Archives reconstruction, I actually managed to find a copy of this story. It's my first atempt to give Mal-3 some of that "strange and enigmatic" quality that shows up in the later stories. Personally, I think I overdid it here. Ohwell.
Operation Phoenix: Flight of the Long Shot part 2: Hot space-combat action stolen from Star Wars, Star Trek, and ID4! Not terribly bad space-opera action sequences, but like most multipart segments, mostly just buildup.
Operation Phoenix: Flight of the Long Shot part 3: This concluded Mal's run in Operaton Phoenix. At the time, I was unsure whether or not to just kill off the character or ressurect him, so I left the end as ambigious as I possibly could.
Phoenix Fallout: "From the Ashes, a Phoenix": This one ties up the loose ends left from the end of the Long Shot arc. I think that out of my early Jihad writing, this was my favorite. It's probably my best writing to that date, and it was at least three times as long as the others.
Operation Pacifica: Getting There Is Half the Fun: This one was mostly setup, like the title suggests. There were some fun moments, like "Jihad Road Warrior." I have always wanted to do that on an actual highway, but sadly I lack the necessary mayhem-capable equipment. ;_;
Operation Pacifica: Interlude in San Francisco: This story was still more setup. The bit in the middle where Mal revisits the scene of "From the Ashes" was supposed to be a setup for a campaign scenario that never got off the ground. Ah, well. Can't win 'em all, I guess.
Operation Pacifica: Magenta Tide: I liked writing this story. Personally, I think that Magenta Tide eally brings out Mal's ability to go bipolar in times of crisis, while remain totally cool and stylish about it, in a Dr. Forrester-esque sense. Sadly, this was my last Pacifica story, although I helped flesh out some of the rest of the storyline.
The Marraketh Connection: Introit Praeceps Transito Spatum: I'm kinda proud of this story, since this was the starting seg for most of the others. To my count, about 80% of the other authors in this part of TMC use the briefing in my story as a starting point for their stories. It's good to be a trend-setter.
The Marraketh Connection: General Protection Fault: A sort-of interlude story, as Mal tries to get the Interdimensional Gateway Generator going again. This one was just about as much fun to write as "Magenta Tide," since they both have a pretty solid sense of humor behind them.
The Marraketh Connection: Fear and Loathing in Marraketh Act 1; "Lies, deceit and treachery, but it's all in good fun!": The first of a four-act story that starts winding up the plot. A little munchkinesque in the beginning (and a little in the middle), but it works a a good setup story.
The Marraketh Connection: Fear and Loathing in Marraketh Act 2; "A Lyran in King Harldcast's Court": This one was pretty cool to write, since I got to write some good bad-ass qualities into Mal's character.
The Marraketh Connection: Fear and Loathing in Marraketh Act 3; "Don't look at me, you're the hero!": One of about a thousand POV segements detailing the end of TMC. Never actually completed due to time constraints, and in the final analysis, I think it's for the best -- with a dozen retellings of the same thing, I really didn't feel the need to reinvent the wheel. Maybe one of these days I'll finish this story. Maybe.
The Marraketh Connection: Fear and Loathing in Marraketh Epilouge; "Home Again Home Again": The Epilouge for the entire storyline, really. Of all the Marraketh stories, I think I'm the most proud of this one. IMNSHO, this was my best Jihad writing up to that point in my career.

Excerpts from "Cognitive Dissonance and Trans-Reality Manipulation" monograph submitted to Jihad Praxeum Veneficus and V.R.D.E.T. Research & Development by Professor Malaclypse (V.R.D.E.T., ret.): Kind of an odd duck, this isn't really a story in the traditional sense. It's a bit of fiction dealing with the Jihad Universe shared-world that I was planning on releasing but never got round to doing it properly. So instead, I give it to you here. Personally, I think it's nifty. But then, I wrote it. In theory there are a series of companion stories to this piece written by my colleague Patrick, but he's probably forgotten just like I have. Sic transit gloria.

Jihad Universe 3.0

The Jihad Universe 3.0 saga is (probably) the most complex thing the Jihad as a group has ever really attempted. Naturally, that means we're stalled about halfway through. Most of the general backstory has been fleshed out to one degree or another in MalWiki, if you're inclined to take a looksee.

Anyway, the completed work on JU3 is:

Fenspace Chronicles

Fenspace stories go here once I get all that shit indexed.

Journalism (sort-of)

Fear and Loathing in Alamosa, a multi-part story that ran in the South Coloradan Online in the fall of 1999. The closest thing the Author has had to a magnum opus in his Journalism career, and the last such thing, the Author's journalism career having died on the road somwhere between Alamosa and Denver.

Part Zero: On the nature of "gonzo journalism": Wherein Our Hero explains that what you are about to read isn't quite your regular South Coloradan story.
Part One: I went looking for stoners and all I got was this lousy cough.: Wherein Our Hero goes in search of the Adams State College drug culture, and doesn't quite find what he's looking for.
Part Two: Strange madness in the scrub pine: Wherein Our Hero continues his search and continues to get screwed over.
Part Three: despair and failure: Wherein Our Hero realizes that this quest is a fool's game, and decides to get drunk and forget about it all.

I Hate Everything You Stand For: I found this sitting in an unused corner of my hard drive - it's an editorial from my days at the South Coloradan where I take to task the #1 self-professed victims in the United States; Christians. As I recall, this did not do much to increase my standing with my fellow students. Not that I cared, really. This one might be better suited for the Rant page, but it's my site and I say it goes here.

The Drug Problem: An Innovative Solution: Another of my student editorials, presented to you because I have no shame. This one made my reputation as a person who probably should never be let near a newsroom ever again. I'm quite proud of that.

Returning to the Drug Problem: A followup to the Innovative Solution column. This time around I let my growing contempt for all around me get in the way of my persuasive skills.

Odds & Ends